


A Cold One with the Bro

by thenewdarling



Category: Fantastic Four, X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, bobby drake is a human disaster, i wrote johnny storm as straight in this and still managed to make spideytorch canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-23
Updated: 2020-12-23
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:02:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28262091
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thenewdarling/pseuds/thenewdarling
Summary: Iceman, fresh out of the closet, goes to his first lads' night in with his well-meaning straight friend Johnny Storm.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 8





	A Cold One with the Bro

The doorbell rang right as Johnny was getting the beer out of the fridge. “One second!” he shouted, and took a deep breath.

He really hoped this wasn’t going to be awkward but he could sense it already. Bobby was the most easy-going guy in the world, but he didn’t like it when things were _about_ him. They’d almost fallen out one time when Johnny got him a Christmas present.

He answered the door with his biggest beaming smile. “Hey man, you made it!”

Bobby was wearing an enormous anorak and hat, and carrying his Xbox under his arm. “Yeah, it’s really coming down out there.” He stepped inside to get his jacket and his boots off. “How you been?”

“Good! Good!” Johnny said. “Hey man, I just wanted to say, you know! Congrats!” He clapped him on the back. He immediately regretted it. He’d never clapped Bobby on the back in his life. Why on earth did he _do_ that?!

“Uh… yeah. Sure. Whatever,” Bobby said. “Listen it’s, it’s nothing.”

“Well it’s not nothing, it’s a good thing!”

“Yeah I just--” Bobby was looking at his feet.

“Hey,” Johnny put his hands up in a pacifying motion. “Just thought it would be weird if I said nothing at all. You can talk as much or as little as you want.”

Bobby nodded. “Sure. Thanks.”

“You want a beer?” Johnny said, lifting the crate.

“Good idea.” Bobby popped his shoes off and made to walk over to the couch.

“Wait!” Johnny said, and Bobby turned. Johnny pointed to his feet, which had a pair of fuzzy slippers on. “You gotta wear slippers.”

“What?”

“It’s this new thing Sue’s obsessed with. It’s Japanese or something.”

Bobby raised an eyebrow. “Alright. I, uh, didn’t think to bring any though.”

“She has spares,” Johnny said, exasperated, opening a closet by the front door and pulling out a pair of disposable slippers in cellophane like you might get at a hotel.

#

They settled in for a night of Call of Duty, beer and ordering pizza. They’d been doing it so long they still phoned the pizza place up with the number, rather than using one of the twelve delivery apps on everyone’s phones.

Johnny’s stomach was turning though after the first hour. The fact that Bobby didn’t want to talk about this with him made it feel like they weren’t as close as Johnny had thought. Like he wasn’t a confidant or whatever. 

He tried to remember what Peter had told him about it -- that it had nothing to do with him as a person or their friendship, it was just a very personal thing to share with someone.

Johnny still had trouble understanding this to be honest, but then half of the problems in his life could stem back to over-sharing, so maybe he wasn’t the best judge.

“God dammit, this one guy is just camping in the corner, I can’t get past him,” Bobby said, eyes on the Xbox.

Oh God. Here it came. Like word vomit. “Dude, you know this doesn’t have to be weird right? Like, I have other gay friends besides you.”

Bobby looked at him skeptically. “What other gay friends?”

Well, shit. He couldn’t remember if Peter was out to _everyone_ yet, and outing Spider-Man wasn’t exactly going to win him any ally points. “... Northstar?”

Bobby scoffed. “You don’t know Northstar.”

“No, you’re right, I don’t. I don’t know why I said that.”

“Why do you need to talk about this with me? Nothing has changed.”

“I just, I, I thought we could share anything with each other,” he said.

There was a loud explosion on the TV as Bobby died in Call of Duty. He ignored it. “Yeah…” He put the controller down. “Listen, I’m gonna go. This is too weird, I need to-”

“Oh come on man, don’t be like that! I just want you to feel comfortable!”

“Well, this was the one night this week I thought I was gonna get out of talking about this,” Bobby said. He was already up out of the sofa and headed towards the door to get his coat.

The front door opened on them, and Sue bustled in carrying four or five bags of groceries. “Hey guys! How’s it going?”

Johnny panicked. “Uhhh--” Of all the moments!

She dropped the shopping at her feet. “Oh, congratulations by the way Bobby! I’m so proud of you!” She gave him a big hug which he reluctantly accepted, then she looked down. “Oh! And you’re wearing the slippers! Very good, very good! One sec, I’m just gonna put this stuff away and then I’ll be out of your hair-- d’you know, I was just thinking,” she said to Johnny. “D’you know who you should set Bobby up with?”

Johnny and Bobby both started to melt into puddles on the floor.

“Peter!” she said. She looked at the shopping. “Actually can you two help me through with some of this, I’ve carried it all the way from the car…” She picked up two of the bags and started walking through.

Johnny’s cheeks were burning so hot that he thought he was about to flame on and set fire to the entire foyer. “I’m-- I’m not setting up my two gay friends, that’s weird Sue!”

Bobby was blue-screening in front of him. 

“I am _so sorry_ ,” Johnny mouthed.

Bobby was shaking his head, lost in shock.

Sue poked her head round the corner. “Wait, why do you have your jacket on? You’re not leaving are you?” She glowered at Johnny. “What did you do.”

Johnny stumbled with his words. “Uh, I- I-”

“Nothing,” Bobby said eventually. “Nothing at all. I was just… getting my phone to order the pizza.”

“Aw don’t bother ordering pizza, I’ve got stuff in the fridge!” she said.

“It’s a tradition,” Johnny said. “He gets pepperoni and I get ham and pineapple.”

She rolled her eyes. “Boys. Well, at least use up the hummus, I need to make room and it’s gonna go off.”

Bobby was getting his jacket off again. Well, ok. That was good.

Very difficult to break the ice with someone who was made out of it, Johnny noticed.

#

Neither of them really seemed to have their heart in Call of Duty, and Sue was still rushing about in the background making herself dinner before she went to her book club.

Johnny picked up his phone and sent a text to Peter.

__

hey man 🤟🏽🤟🏽🤟🏽🤟🏽🤙🏽🤙🏽🤙🏽 Hows it hangin 🤪🤪

_Doing ok bud. Can’t talk comma singing._

__

wuuuut 🧐

_Sorry. Swinging asterisk. Using dictation. I’ve got Alexa in the suit._

__

rad man hey listen I’ve got Bobby drake here, Sue’s saying I should hook you guys up?? 🧊🍆 🍆🕷 ?

_Peter is typing . . ._

Johnny shrugged and lowered the phone to take a sip of his Corona.

_Sorry, stopped to type. I’m dating someone at the minute, bud 😂 But thanks for bein my wingman. Tell Bobby I’m happy for him, I saw on the news!_

__

will do man 💪🏽 who’s ur latest conquest

_Otto Octavius, you remember him at the fundraiser?_

__

Eight arms 🤪🤪 spicy 🥵 🥵

_Fuck you 😂_

Not sure how to end the conversation, Johnny sent back an octopus, another eggplant, and like fourteen tongue-out emojis, and put his phone away.

#

Johnny put the controller down. They were both now sufficiently full of pizza, and light-headed from the beer. “Come on, dude. Let’s talk about it.”

“We don’t have to talk about it! It’s not a big deal!”

“We talked for forty five minutes when you were trying to decide on a new couch.”

“That’s an important life decision!”

“It was a rental!”

_“I had to make sure it matched the rest of the room!”_

“Holy shit,” Johnny said, blinking. “You really were gay this entire time.”

Bobby stared at him like a madman for a second, then, a smile cracked. He giggled. Then Johnny started. And then they were both cackling until they couldn’t breathe, doubled over in knots.

“Oh my God!” Bobby laughed, tears in his eyes as he heaved for air. “You stupid fuckin’ asshole. God, I needed that.”

Johnny smiled and put a hand on Bobby’s shoulder. “I’m glad, man. You know you can talk to me about anything. And uh, I didn’t want to like divulge Peter’s personal life, but we talk about this stuff all the time.”

“Thanks, dude,” Bobby said. “It’s just, a lot. And when you hold something inside yourself for that long, it feels impossible to talk about it.”

“Yeah, I get that. I’ll try and keep it in mind. And I’m glad you can tell me when you’re uncomfortable.” Johnny picked up the controller again. “I’m gonna put on Netflix.”

“Like, people are asking me all these questions I haven’t even really thought about. It felt like I’d come to the end of a marathon, and now I’m just realising I’ve got this whole new journey to worry about.”

“Aw, you shouldn’t _worry_ about it. It’s your life, man! You do what you need, at your own pace.”

Bobby smiled. “You know, you’re surprisingly wise for being such a bonehead. And straight, for that matter.”

Johnny snorted. “I mean, don’t mention it to Sue but it’s not like I didn’t... dabble, in my younger years.”

Bobby’s head snapped round so fast he pulled a muscle. “Ow, ow, ow. Explain,” he said, massaging his cricked neck.

Johnny was absent-mindedly thumbing through Xbox menus. “It was years ago, man! Not a big deal.”

Bobby’s eyes were like saucers. “Wait I’m lost, I—“

Johnny was, frustratingly, too busy navigating Netflix to get the story out. “We were on a weekend bender, I’d just broken up with Frankie Raye, I’d done a bunch of blow and...”

Bobby was vibrating in his chair.

Johnny shrugged. “Spider-Man sucked my dick. It’s no big deal.”

“WHAT?”

**Author's Note:**

> Please imagine this playing right at the end lmao: https://youtu.be/gL8D3TB-lz8?t=55
> 
> Also I had to summon all of my MySpace HTML knowledge to format that text conversation lmao


End file.
